God First, or Flesh First? Rethinking ‘Godly’ Dating

Because choosing your forever isn’t something you do with foggy glasses.

Let’s Start Here: I Didn’t Want to Write This

I’ve tried to avoid this topic for a while. Why? Because a lot of folks talk the talk but don’t walk it. Everyone’s out here hashtagging “Godly relationship goals,” but when you peek under the hood—lust, pride, and confusion are running the show. It’s giving secular situationship.

Was that Shade 🤔🙃

Let me say this loud and clear:

I’m not coming from a worldly perspective. This is from a woman who’s stayed in the secret place with God. So if anything here makes you uncomfortable… take it up with the Word of God.

Is Your Relationship Rooted in God or the World?

Here’s the uncomfortable truth:

A lot of people say they’re Christians, but their relationships look exactly like the world’s.

One day it’s “God first,”it’s Bible verses in the bio. The next, it’s “Netflix and sin.”

And late-night fornication and DMs filled with temptation.

That’s not cute. That’s double-mindedness (James 1:8). It’s giving Confused Vibes !

“Flee from sexual immorality…” (1 Corinthians 6:18)

God didn’t say fight it. He said run! Sprint like Joseph. Holiness over hormones, every time.

A relationship that entertains lust over holiness is not of God. Period.

The Root of Ungodly Relationships: Let’s Get to the Root

You can’t have a godly relationship if you’re not living a godly/holy life.

It’s not about “bad timing” or “compatibility. Why relationships don’t work out All the time! The root- It’s about two people who are not fully submitted to God, his word and principles.

If Christ is not your foundation, the relationship will be ruled by:

• Lust

• Pride

• Ego

• Selfishness

And that combo? It’s a recipe for heartbreak.

What Does a Godly Man Look Like?

Let’s talk to the men.

Some of y’all want submission from a woman but have zero submission to God. No accountability.

That’s dangerous.

“Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church…” – Ephesians 5:25

That’s a sacrificial love. You can’t love like Christ if you don’t walk with him!

Let’s take a look at the story of Ananias

Ananias (Acts 5) made one reckless decision, and it cost him and his wife their lives.

Men—if you’re not submitted to God, you could lead your whole house into destruction.

Being around church is not the same as being surrendered to Christ.  Don’t just look for a man who goes to church—look for one who follows the word of God.

What Does a Godly Woman Look Like?

Ladies, I’m coming for us too.

Some of us are out here loud about God, but there’s:

• No holiness

• No submission

• No nurturing spirit

“A wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down…” – Proverbs 14:1

A godly woman isn’t a distraction—she’s a destiny partner. She stirs a man toward:

• Prayer

• Worship

• Obedience

• Purpose

Ask yourself:

• Can I raise godly children?

• Do I Submit to God’s Word More Than My Feelings? Let me be honest—I’m human. I’ve felt deeply, messed up plenty, and made choices based on emotion more times than I’d like to admit. So this isn’t coming from a place of judgment. At the end of the day, no matter how strong the feelings are…God’s Word should lead, not our emotions.

Feelings are valid—but they’re not always right. God’s Word is right—always. Even when it’s hard. Even when it contradicts what we want in the moment.

Misconception Check: “If She Submits to Her Dad, She’ll Submit to Me”

Let’s clear this myth—quickly.

Submission starts with God, not with man.

Honoring your dad is great (Exodus 20:12), but that doesn’t equal submission in marriage.

Marriage is a covenant, not just a continuation of upbringing. A woman can have a great relationship with her dad and still struggle in marriage if she’s not submitted to God's word.

Submission in marriage flows from a surrendered heart to God—not a wordly daddy-daughter dynamic

Submission begins with God’s Word. A woman who fears the Lord will honor her husband—not because he’s perfect, but because she’s obedient to God.

Another Misconception Check  “Watch How He Treats His Mum—That’s How He Will Treat You”

Another topic we need to address!

Because I’ve seen some men treat their mothers like fine china—eggshell gentle—and then turn around and treat women like garbage: lying, cheating, emotionally unavailable, lacking accountability, and calling it “just how I am.”

Nah, bro —that’s just bad behavior.

Just like I told the ladies… it applies to the men too:

If a man doesn’t submit to God, he will never love right.

He might show glimpses of honor and respect, especially toward family or in public moments—but when it comes to truly loving a woman, that kind of love takes spiritual capacity. And spiritual capacity only comes from walking in obedience to Christ.

Because real love—sacrificial, faithful, forgiving, accountable, biblical love—isn’t something you just learn from only good upbringing. You need to truly be surrendered to Christ to love accordingly!

So ladies, don’t just ask if he’s a gentleman. Ask if he’s surrendered to the Word of God. Because a man who won’t bow to Jesus won’t know how to love you like right. Period.

LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE AT THE BACK!

So… How Do You Know They’re From God?

There’s no magic formula. But here’s what I do know:

You can’t hear God clearly while living in sin.

Porn, lust, drunkenness, constant compromise—clouds your discernment.

If you listen to more secular music than Scripture, how will you know God’s voice?

“Be sober, be vigilant…” – 1 Peter 5:8

Satan sends counterfeits that look like your prayer request but are wrapped in bondage.

Judge By the Word—Not Vibes

Don’t base your future on chemistry, compliments, or compatibility quizzes.

“Do not judge by appearance, but judge with righteous judgment.” – John 7:24

Ask yourself:

• Does this person love God more than they love me?

• Do they push me to Christ?

• Do they walk in holiness when no one’s watching?

If the answers are YES! That’s the one you can build with.

A Godly Relationship Looks Like This:

✅ Brings you closer to God

✅ Encourages prayer, service, and growth

✅ Challenges you to mature

✅ Promotes quick forgiveness

✅ Is rooted in honoring Christ

Final Word: Dating Is Serious Business

Before you say “I do”—seek God. Fast. Pray.

There is someone God crafted just for you, but you won’t find them in compromise.

Be holy. Be vigilant. Don’t just date for fun—date with purpose.

Who you date will either push you toward destiny—or pull you into destruction.

Friendly Reminder- You will never lose a man—or a woman meant for you —chasing God!

You’re not looking for perfection, but for a heart fully surrendered to God and anchored in His Word

Music Time… But With a Twist!

💬 Richard Lorenzo is out here in the streets doing full-on Book of Acts evangelism. His boldness, his fire, the way he calls people to repent and turn to Jesus—Watch this street clip: Click here

And now… the second link?

💬 It’s an interview with Tiphani Montgomery. I’m not even gonna say much about this one.

Just watch it.

Let the interview speak for itself.

Watch here: Full Interview

Side note: A lot of y’all have applauded (and lowkey vibed hard to) the songs I've shared on the blog—thank you, thank you 🙏🏽🎶 I’ve been feelin’ inspired… might just drop my playlists in the next blog. 👀

And who knows…Kingdom Wedding + Event DJ? (DJ Whit Giving Us Kingdom Jams or DJ Whit - Bringing the Kingdom to the Dance Floor 👣👑) Would you book me or what? 😎✨🎧