The Spiritual Side of Marriage No One Wants to Talk About

Today’s blog is dealing with a sensitive subject: marriage.

Something is happening in our generation.

We are seeing marriages destroyed at an alarming rate. Divorce. Separation. Homes breaking apart. And especially within Nigerian households, things that previous generations barely spoke about openly are happening right in front of us.

Some people are not even married for a year before everything falls apart.

So what is going on?

We can talk about communication. We can talk about compatibility. We can talk about finances, intimacy, trauma and therapy—and those conversations have their place.

But I believe there is a side of marriage we are afraid to talk about: the spiritual side.

The Bible says:

“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world…” — Ephesians 6:12

Marriage is not merely physical.

It is spiritual.

The enemy hates what godly marriage represents because marriage is connected to families, generations, purpose and destiny. More importantly, marriage itself is used in Scripture as a picture of Christ and His Church—the Bridegroom and His bride (Ephesians 5:31–32).

Yet sometimes we keep trying to solve spiritual problems exclusively with natural solutions. Your issue is spiritual and you think therapy will solve it 🙃

And I believe there are three uncomfortable reasons behind some of the broken marriages we are seeing today.

1. PEOPLE ARE MARRYING THE WRONG SPOUSE

Yes.

I said it.

Some people simply married the wrong person.

And sometimes the reason is even more uncomfortable: they married for the wrong reasons.

I don’t want to be alone.

All my friends are getting married.

I’m getting older.

I want to be a wife.

I want to be a husband.

What will people think?

Sometimes it is loneliness.

Sometimes pride.

Sometimes pressure.

Sometimes lust.

Sometimes it is simply wanting the title of marriage more than wanting the will of God.

And because people desperately want marriage, they settle.

The scary part is that many people will still say:

“God led me.”

But when you look closely at how the relationship came together, there was very little seeking God and a whole lot of flesh.

Their emotions led them.

Their brokeness led them.

Their flesh led them.

Then God’s name was placed on the decision afterward.

We have to be careful with this.

Emotions rise and fall. What feels absolutely certain today can feel completely different tomorrow.

You cannot build a lifelong covenant solely on a feeling.

And this is where something else happens.

People enter a marriage through fleshly decisions, warfare comes, and immediately say:

“The enemy is attacking what God gave me.”

But did God give it to you?

That is a difficult question, but somebody has to ask it.

Not every battle surrounding something automatically proves that God authored it.

Sometimes what we call “warfare” is the consequence of decisions we made outside God’s direction.

And knowing the difference matters.

Because if you keep calling the consequences of your own decisions “the devil,” you may never humble yourself enough to repent and ask God:

“How did I get here, and what do You want me to do now?”

2. SPIRITUAL MANIPULATION | WITCHCRAFT IS BEING USED TO GET PEOPLE INTO MARRIAGE

Now this is where we are going deeper spiritually.

This was something I never wanted to believe.

There are people who USE witchcraft, spells and other forms of occult spiritual manipulation powers TO MARRY..

And within many African cultures, this is not even an unfamiliar conversation.

People speak about individuals going to spiritual practitioners ( aka. HIGHER POWERS) because they desperately want a particular man or woman. And please, my generation, do not be fooled into thinking this is ancient history.

We hear these stories and imagine they belong to our grandparents’ generation, some distant village, or another time entirely.

They don’t.

People in our generation are still doing this.

I must marry this person.

He must not leave me.

She must choose me.

And that desperation becomes something darker: control.

Marriage was never designed to be built through control.

And here is what makes this conversation even more uncomfortable: Most of these people using these diabolical means are CHRISTIANS

Some people know Christian lingo.

They attend church.

They pray.

They post Scriptures.

They can tell you, “God said…”

But what happens privately?

What other sources of spiritual higher power are they consulting?

What do they actually believe?

What fruit does their life produce?

Jesus said: “Ye shall know them by their fruits.” — Matthew 7:16

Not their church attendance. Not their Christian vocabulary.

Their fruit.

This is why discernment is critical when choosing a spouse.

You cannot marry somebody simply because they say they are Christian.

What fruit proves it?

If a relationship was established through divination, spells, charms and control, something was already wrong with the foundation.

You cannot manipulate somebody into covenant and then expect manipulation to somehow produce a healthy godly marriage.

3. THE ENEMY CAN USE RELATIONSHIPS TO HINDER DESTINY

This is another one I never wanted to believe.

But follow the thought carefully.

Imagine a man with tremendous potential.

There are things God desires to accomplish through his life. There is a GREAT purpose and destiny attached to him.

And  the enemy recognizes that, why would we assume every attack against that destiny would come in an obvious form?

Sometimes warfare is subtle.

Sometimes, in the spiritual reality I am describing, there can be a deliberate assignment  against the man’s  destiny—through covens OR cultic groups.

I know.

It sounds crazy.

But stay with me.

Imagine that instead of attacking the man directly, they send a woman into his life from a coven.

And it works because the man is already ruled more by his flesh than by the Spirit.

That is what makes the strategy so dangerous.

The woman does not arrive looking dangerous.

She has been primed for him.

She is beautiful.

Nice.

Attractive.

Church-going.

She knows how to present herself.

Everything looks right from the surface.

And that is exactly the problem.

He only knows how to judge by the surface.

He cannot discern what is underneath.

He sees beauty.

He sees chemistry.

He sees everything his flesh desires.

But he does not see spiritually.

And that is how subtle destruction can be.

Because destruction does not always walk into your life looking destructive.

Sometimes it walks in looking like your type.

Read that again.

The enemy knows what we like.

And when a person continually lives according to the flesh instead of the Spirit, his fleshly desires becomes an easy doorway.

Beauty can blind you.

Charm can blind you.

Sex can blind you.

Loneliness can blind you.

Pride can blind you.

Desperation can blind you.

And while everybody around you is saying:

“Wow, you guys look amazing together.”

Nobody is asking:

What is this relationship producing spiritually?

That question matters.

Because not every person who enters your life is necessarily sent by God.

And the wrong marriage can affect far more than your happiness.

It can affect your prayer life.

Your obedience.

Your decisions.

Your children.

Your assignment.

Your entire direction.

It can affect your destiny.

Here is the truth we often do not want to confront:

Some relationships can absolutely destroy purpose, whether the person involved understands what they are doing or not.

That is why discernment is not optional.

You cannot afford to choose a spouse with your eyes alone when the consequences of that choice can reach far beyond what your eyes can see.

MARRIAGE IS ABOUT DESTINY, NOT JUST COMPATIBILITY

This is what I want my generation to understand. MARRIAGE IS MORE SPIRITUAL THAN PHYSICAL.

Marriage is deeper than:

Do we vibe?

Do we have chemistry?

Do we have similar interests and vision?

Those things may matter.

But marriage is spiritual.

And I believe one reason people become vulnerable to destructive relationships is because their flesh has been trained more than their spirit.

We know what we like.

But do we know what God is saying?

We recognize attraction.

But can we recognize spiritual deception?

We recognize chemistry.

But can we recognize spiritual incompatibility?

We recognize beauty.

But can we recognize biblical fruit?

We have trained our natural senses while neglecting spiritual discernment.

And Scripture warns: “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge…” — Hosea 4:6

Ignorance is dangerous.

And spiritual ignorance can be especially dangerous because you can be fighting something you do not even recognize.

We have  become so natural-minded that we forget Scripture repeatedly tells us there is a spiritual realm.

KINGDOM MARRIAGES MUST RISE

I believe God is raising a generation that will take marriage seriously again.

Not people who merely claim Christianity.

People who genuinely know Christ.

And where people are trapped in bondage, manipulation, deception, destructive relationships by diabolical means I believe God will bring freedom, truth and clarity.

Because we need godly families again.

We need homes where Christ is actually Lord—not just mentioned.

We need both men and  women who know their identity deeply enough that they do not have to manipulate anyone into choosing them.

We need marriages built on truth.

Marriages built on obedience.

Marriages built on Christ.

Because marriage was never supposed to simply produce cute wedding pictures.

Marriage produces generations.

And when godly marriages rise, godly families can rise.

And when families  begin walking in the purposes of God, the kingdom advances.

So yes, pray about who you marry.

Fast. Seek God. Watch their fruit.

Stop assuming somebody belongs to God simply because they know how to speak Christian.

And above everything: Know God for yourself.

Because marriage is too spiritual, too consequential and too connected to destiny for you to choose your spouse with your natural eyes alone.

The wedding may last one day.

The decision can affect generations.

🎶 Music time!

Mouthpi3ce — “Talk Back” 🙏