The Power of A Forgiving Woman

The Journey of Sanctification Begins with Forgiveness

Whew! Let’s talk about it—forgiveness. That word alone can stir up so many emotions, especially when the wound runs deep. I’ll be honest—this was a sticky subject for me. I used to think forgiveness was easy because I’ve always been outspoken. If you wronged me, trust me, you’d know! My actions or words would make it clear. I don’t play games, and I don’t do fake. For the most part, I forgave easily because I confronted issues head-on.

But what happens when the pain is so deep that even confronting it doesn’t bring peace? When the offense is beyond the “normal”? When you find yourself clinging to unforgiveness because the hurt is just that raw?

But Forgive!

The Breaking Point

For years, I leaned on my own strength, my knowledge, my wisdom—even though I claimed to be a Christian. The Truth: God was only allowed into certain areas of my life. I had compartments—places where I let Him rule and places where I said, Nah, I got this, Lord.

Then, life happened. A drastic, gut-wrenching event knocked me down so hard that I knew I couldn’t handle it alone. I tried therapy, but deep in my spirit, I felt my issue wasn’t just mental or emotional—it was spiritual. And let me tell you: no amount of therapy can solve a spiritual issue. No amount of therapy could fix a wound that needed divine healing.

(That’s a whole other topic for another day—don’t get me started on how we try to fix spiritual wounds with worldly tools! We need kingdom-minded therapist rooted in the word of God who use Scripture to lead people into real healing)

But back to forgiveness—I was shattered, confused, and carrying a heart so heavy I could barely function. I took my pain to God, daily, crying my eyes out. I clung to Psalm 147:3—“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” I prayed, and then…I did it again. And again. But the struggle was real because this person had never acknowledged their wrongdoing to me. No apology. No remorse. Just pure, cold indifference.

How do you forgive someone who doesn’t even care that they hurt you?

Forgiveness Can Be Messy

I thought I had forgiven. I prayed. I even said the words, Lord, I forgive them. But deep down? I hadn’t.

God wasn’t letting me off the hook. He kept pressing me to pray for this person. And not just a quick prayer—I mean I prayed for them, sometimes more than I prayed for myself. That’s deep, right? Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:44—Pray for those that hurt you—became my reality.

And let me tell you, forgiveness can be ugly. It’s not always rosy or cute, and it sure isn’t always easy. Some days, I had to force myself to say the words, I forgive them, Lord. Some days, I had to remind myself almost every hour. And then, the Lord took it a step further:

He told me to stop talking about it.

Wait, what? But, Lord, I need people to know what I went through! I need them to understand the depth of my pain! Granted, I wasn’t out here broadcasting the situation to everybody, but whew—I definitely wanted to vent to my close circle! I mean, come on, sometimes you just need to let it out, right?

But the Lord said No. Silence. Sometimes, we feed our wounds by constantly rehearsing them. God had other plans. He wasn’t just dealing with my heart; He was disciplining my tongue too.

Forgiveness Is About Obedience, Not Feelings

God was teaching me true forgiveness—not based on my feelings, but on obedience.

The Bible is plain and simple:

“If you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”(Matthew 6:15)

Period. No conditions. No exceptions.

And looking back? I was being so self righteous . I was like Peter asking Jesus, “How many times should I forgive? Seven times?” (Matthew 18:21). I was out here trying to put a quota on forgiveness! But Jesus’ answer? “Seventy times seven.” Translation? There is no limit. There’s no way around it. It doesn’t matter if the person is sorry. It doesn’t matter if they deserve it. It doesn’t matter if they never change. YOU MUST FORGIVE!

So even though I never got an apology—I forgave.

Even though I was disrespected and embarrassed—I forgave.

I had to walk the walk. And in doing so, I realized something powerful:

Forgiveness was more for me than for them.

As I obeyed, God began healing my heart. He pulled out the pain, the anger, the rejection, and the bitterness. He replaced them with freedom, peace, and joy.

Many of us claim to be Christians, but unforgiveness is sitting in our hearts like a ticking time bomb. We justify it. We coddle it. We say, But you don’t know what they did! And God says, But do you know what YOU did? And I forgave you anyway.

Jesus forgave us while we were still sinners. So what right do we have to withhold forgiveness from others? It is self-righteousness to think you can’t forgive someone.

Deeper Revelations of Forgiveness

Through true forgiveness, God transformed my prayer life.

See, true prayer isn’t just about “God, give me this”—it’s about, “God, make me more like You and aligning with His Kingdom will”

Lord, let what pleases You please me.

Let what grieves You grieve me.

Give me a heart to love and obey You.

Align me with Your perfect will.

As I forgave, God gave me a new heart, and a renewed mind.

In the journey, there will be days when the memory of the pain creeps back in—uninvited, unexpected, and trying to reopen wounds God has already healed. But when that happens, you have to stand firm and remind yourself: I have forgiven, and I will continue to forgive. If you choose this mindset, soon the pain will be like it never happened.

Forgiveness is not just a one-time event; it’s a daily decision. And as I walked through this process, something powerful started happening—the Lord began revealing deeper matters about my foundation/bloodline.

See, a lot of us are dealing with issues that didn’t start with us. If you look closely, you’ll notice patterns running through families—divorce, unforgiveness/bitterness, no marriages, cancer, poverty, anger, mental illness and the list goes on. These things don’t just randomly appear; they’re spiritual patterns that need to be broken.

And let me tell you—breaking generational patterns is not for the faint of heart. This battle isn’t won through just talk or natural means. It requires spiritual weapons; prayer, fasting, and the wisdom of God. We can’t afford to fight spiritual wars with carnal weapons.

The moment we recognize that life is spiritual, half of our struggles will begin to make sense. That’s why so many people feel stuck—because they’re trying to fix spiritual problems with earthly solutions.

This topic? Whew, it deserves a blog all on its own. But I must warn you—it’s not for the weak. It’s for warriors—for those who are ready to fight for their bloodline and refuse to let generational patterns have the final say.

The Devil Feasts on Unforgiveness

Another revelation the Lord gave me is that unforgiveness is an open door for the enemy. If we don’t shut that door, he will torment us with anger, resentment, and bitterness. He will keep playing the offense over and over in our minds until we see that person as the enemy instead of seeing them through God’s eyes.

Ephesians 4:27 warns us: Do not give the devil a foothold. Forgiveness is how we slam the door in his face.

What About Forgiving Yourself?

I wasn’t planning to add this part to the post—it didn’t fit. But something in my spirit says it’s for someone. So here it is.

Sometimes, the hardest person to forgive is…yourself.

What happens when you’re the one who caused the pain? When you’ve made mistakes that haunt you? When you feel like you’ve messed up beyond repair?

Listen, Jesus died for EVERY sin. There is no sin so deep that His grace can’t cover it. The devil will try to drown you in shame and guilt, but Romans 8:1 declares: There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

God is a Redeemer. A Restorer. A Healer. No matter what you’ve done, He is willing and ready to forgive you. But you must come to Him with a genuine, repentant heart (Psalm 51). David messed up BIG TIME—he committed adultery, orchestrated a murder, and tried to cover it all up. Yet, he was still called a man after God’s own heart. Why? Because he truly repented, and God restored him.

The Choice Is Yours

So, here’s the question: Will you hold on to the pain, or will you release it into God’s hands?

Forgiveness doesn’t mean what they did was right. It doesn’t excuse the pain or erase the past. But it frees you from its grip. It stops the enemy from using that wound to control your emotions.

Let today be the day you choose freedom. Take it to God. Lay it at His feet. Even if it takes time, commit to the process. The same God who healed my heart will heal yours too.

And one day, you’ll look back and realize—what once broke you no longer has power over you.

Let me leave you with this powerful quote: Someone once said, “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Think about that. Let it sink in. Who’s really suffering in the end?