Part 1 - Your Tears Are Cute, But Man Up: We Need Men Who Actually Know God

So today, I’m excited. Actually, super excited. The kind of excited where I can barely contain myself 😂.

Today’s blog is going to be a little different. And I’m sure you’re wondering, Girl…what happened?

I’ll tell you. But first, context.

There’s a friend I’ve known for a very long time—a brother from another mother. At one point, he was genuinely one of my favorite people in the world.

But when God began taking me deeper in my own journey of intimacy with Him, I had to separate from certain people.

He was one of them.

Not because he was a terrible person. Not because I suddenly became “holier than thou.” We simply were no longer in alignment. And sometimes obedience requires separation before your emotions are ready for it.

Recently, he called me. We talked for hours.

And as I listened to him speak, I could hear something happening beneath his words:

God is calling this man deeper.

He started telling me how certain things don’t satisfy him anymore. Conversations that once felt normal now irritate him because they lack substance. He’s becoming distant from certain environments —not from an unhealthy isolation perspective, but because his soul is searching for something those environments cannot give him.

He wants things that feed his spirit.

Yet when he hangs around certain friends, sometimes they influence him more than he influences them.

And THAT is exactly why separation IS necessary when God is transforming you.

Sometimes the people around you aren’t evil.

They’re simply still comfortable with the mentality God is trying to deliver you from.

You cannot keep asking God to transform your mind while constantly sitting in environments committed to preserving the old one.

I digress.... Back to to the Story

But as we talked, I could also hear his struggle.

He wants God.

He knows there’s more.

He can feel God pulling him.

But complete surrender still feels unknown.

Because somewhere in the back of his mind is the question many people secretly wrestle with:

“What am I going to lose if I really give God everything?”

And that’s one of the enemy’s favorite half-truths.

He whispers:

Walking with God will cost you everything.

And you know what?

He’s right.

He just conveniently leaves out the second half.

Walking with God may cost you everything—but you gain something infinitely greater.

Jesus said:

“For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.”

— Matthew 16:25 NKJV

• You may lose relationships.

• You may lose habits.

• You may lose versions of yourself you once loved.

But somewhere in surrender, you discover that what felt like God taking your life away was actually God giving you a purposeful life.

And I was so happy listening to my friend.

Because in the last four years, he is only the second man I’ve spoken to where I could genuinely see this kind of spiritual hunger beginning to develop.

Some of the things he was discerning aren’t things the average casual Christian even notices.

And I thought:

My prayers are working.

God had specifically placed certain friends and people on my heart to intercede for.

He was one of them.

So hearing him speak was like watching a tiny green shoot break through soil I had been praying over for years.

The seed is growing.

And that made me ridiculously happy.

But Then My Happiness Turned Into a Burden

After we got off the phone, I couldn’t shake something.

Men of my generation…..

I started thinking about the spiritual condition of men.

Because remember what I just said?

In four years, I’ve encountered only two men where I could genuinely see this kind of hunger for God.

The first man is somebody I barely knew.

Our circles were completely different, although they crossed occasionally. I probably spoke to him once or twice in my life.

And best believe—my brother was OUTSIDE 😂.

In the streets.

Doing ratchet things.

Enjoying life with his friends.

Then somehow God arranged for us to connect.

We talked for four hours.

And I remember thinking:

Am I talking to my twin brother?

Our spiritual journeys and experiences were shockingly similar.

But what stood out wasn’t his vocabulary.

It wasn’t how many Bible verses he could quote.

It wasn’t how “deep” he sounded.

It was his fruit.

This man had encountered God, and his lifestyle started responding to the encounter.

He separated himself from friends.

Again—not because those people were necessarily horrible human beings.

But when God is delivering you from something, you cannot constantly surround yourself with people who still walk in the mentality God is trying to remove from you.

At some point you have to choose.

God or familiarity.

He started fasting.

• Praying.

• Reading the Word.

• Changing his lifestyle.

• Repenting from sexual sin.

• He stopped entertaining women because he recognized that, in that season, pursuing women would compete with what God was trying to build inside him.

He had spent enough years enjoying the world.

Now?

He wanted God.

So he saturated his environment with things that drew him toward God.

And he was serious about it.

Some people would call that radical.

I call it:

A man who actually encountered God. A man of conviction.

Because when conviction is real, eventually your actions start aligning with your words.

And this is where some people might get offended.

But stay with me.

Where Are the Men Who Actually Know God?

I see too many men desperately wanting the title:

“Man of God.”

But they don’t want the lifestyle required to actually know God.

• You don’t consistently read your Bible.

• You barely pray.

• You don’t intentionally create an environment that feeds your spirit.

• Your closest circle consists of men masturbating, cheating on their wives, watching pornography, womanizing, lying and living completely surrendered to their flesh.

Those are the same men giving you

• Marriage advice.

• Relationship advice.

• Life advice.

• Spiritual advice.

  Sir, you’re in trouble…

  
  

Who exactly is discipling who here?

Scripture says:

“Do not be deceived: ‘Evil company corrupts good habits.’”

— 1 Corinthians 15:33 NKJV

Your friendships don’t automatically mean you are identical to everyone around you—but your closest relationships absolutely reveal what you are willing to remain comfortable around.

And then we say:

“God told me…”

Wait.

You feed your flesh six days a week and your spirit gets Sunday morning plus Bible study when you’re not too tired…

…but somehow you’re completely confident that every strong feeling you have is God?

Something isn’t adding up.

Galatians tells us:

“Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.”

— Galatians 5:16 NKJV

What you consistently feed becomes stronger.

I’m not saying God cannot speak to someone who is struggling.

Of course He can.

God spoke to people throughout Scripture who were nowhere near perfect.

I’m saying that when you consistently feed your flesh while starving your spirit, your ability to discern becomes dangerously compromised.

• Your emotions start sounding like God.

• Your desires start sounding like God.

• Your ego starts sounding like God.

• Your wounds start sounding like God.

• Your fear starts sounding like God.

And because you haven’t become grounded in Scripture, you have very little framework for testing what you’re hearing.

Sometimes I’m listening to people say, “God told me…”

And I’m thinking:

Hmmm, are we sure that wasn’t you? 😭

Because God is never going to contradict His Word just to accommodate your emotions.

“My Sheep Hear My Voice”

Jesus said:

“My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.”

— John 10:27 NKJV

People love quoting this verse. But first lets paint a picture.

Imagine a man is courting a woman. He talks to her maybe once every two weeks.

Sometimes once a month. They spend maybe an hour together whenever they talk.

Then he confidently tells everybody:

“I know this woman.”

Do you?

• You know of her.

• You know pieces of her.

• You know the version you’ve encountered during those occasional conversations.

But intimacy? That requires time.

• Consistency.

• Attention.

• Listening.

• True Relationship.

And because you haven’t spent enough time learning her voice, mannerisms, heart and character, someone could easily tell you something completely unlike her and you’d believe it.

Why?

You don’t know her well enough to recognize what doesn’t sound like her.

That’s how many people approach God.

They barely spend time with Him.

Barely read His Word.

Barely pray.

But confidently declare:

“God told me.”

How are you so sure?

• Listening to Christian podcasts don’t mean you know God.

• Posting Scriptures doesn’t mean you know God.

• Crying during worship doesn’t mean you know God.

  YES, YOU'RE

  Part 2 is coming soon… and trust me, we’re going deeper.

  Music Time 🎶

  VL!Nv — “Godspeed” This one is all about God’s timing.