Part 1 - Forcing God to Bless the Plan You Made Will Never Work

Today’s blog is going to be intense, but I believe it is going to set many of us free.

Sometimes, the problem isn’t that God hasn’t answered our prayers.

Sometimes, the problem is that we already made a decision—and now we’re asking God to bless it.

• We chose the relationship.

• We chose the marriage.

• We chose the business.

• We chose the job.

• We chose the path.

And if we’re truthful, some of those decisions were born out of rebellion, loneliness, impatience, pressure, fear, lust, rejection, or pure emotion.

We never truly stopped and asked:

“God, what do You want / What is your will concerning this matter?”

Instead, we made our will first and brought it to God afterward.

“God, bless this.”

“God, make this work.”

“God, don’t let me lose this person.”

“God, open this door.”

But there is a major difference between praying for God’s will to be done and praying for God to make our will happen.

And forcing God to bless the will you created will never work.

God’s Will Must Be Chosen

The more I read Scripture, the more I understand that walking in God’s will requires intentionality. We have to choose God’s will. God has given us free will, which means we can choose to surrender to what He desires, or we can choose to follow our own desires and create our own path.

God’s will does not become our reality simply because He desires it for us—we must intentionally choose it.

People often describe this distinction as God’s perfect will versus permissive will.

God’s perfect will is what He desires and ordains.

What people call permissive will is what God may allow because He has given human beings the ability to make choices—even choices outside of what He desired for us.

That means just because God allowed something does not automatically mean God authored it.

That part is important.

You can choose something God never told you to choose.

You can enter something God never told you to enter.

And you can spend years asking God to preserve something He never told you to build.

God’s will is something we must intentionally seek, discern, surrender to, and agree with.

Let Me Tell You a Hypothetical Story

I knew a woman who became pregnant before marriage.

The situation weighed heavily on her, and instead of slowing down and seeking God, she began moving almost entirely from emotion.

She and the man had been involved with each other on and off for years. They slept together, and she became pregnant.

When I heard the news, one of the first things I asked her was:

“Have you asked God if this man is actually His will for you?”

Because this is something we need to unlearn :

Having a child with someone does not automatically make that person God’s will for you for marriage….

That may be culturally expected.

It may make the situation look cleaner.

It may look honorable.

It may reduce embarrassment.

But where does Scripture say that because two people conceived a child outside of marriage (which is a sin), they are now required to marry each other?

Sin does not suddenly become God’s matchmaking system.

If something began in disobedience, the answer is not to make another permanent decision simply to cover the consequences of the first one.

The answer is:

Repent. Stop. Seek God. Ask for wisdom. Then obey whatever He says.

But she told me she had been praying with her pastor and other people in church for God to make the marriage happen.

And something about that deeply troubled me.

Because nobody seemed to be asking the most important question:

“God, is this Your will?”

When Prayer Becomes an Attempt to Control the Outcome

This is going to sound strong, but stay with me.

The Bible makes a shocking comparison:

“For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft.” — 1 Samuel 15:23

We quote that verse, but sometimes we don’t stop to think about its weight.

Rebellion is choosing your will over God’s will—whether intentionally or through ignorance.

Witchcraft seeks to manipulate and control an outcome according to your will.

They are not necessarily the exact same act, but they share something dangerous at the root: Both work against the will of God: one chooses another will, while the other tries to force it.

So we need to examine ourselves carefully when our prayers become attempts to force a particular outcome rather than surrendering the outcome to God.

Prayer is not supposed to be:

“God, make my will happen.”

Prayer should ultimately bring us to:

“God, reveal Your will—and give me the grace to obey it.”

You can gather twenty people to pray with you.

You can fast.

You can cry.

You can shout.

You can have people prophesy.

But if nobody is interested in discovering what God actually wants, what exactly are we doing?

Spiritual activity is not automatically spiritual alignment.

And that was my concern.

African Culture says:

You had a baby together. Now you need to marry him.

But had anyone actually sought God concerning the marriage?

Where was repentance?

Where was:

“Lord, what do YOU want?” Instead they praying according to a cultural norm.

She Married Him Anyway

Eventually, the woman I knew married the man.

But the truth was painful:

His heart was somewhere else.

He cared about her, but he was interested in another woman, and he felt pressured into the marriage because of the pregnancy and everything surrounding it.

Eventually, the marriage fell apart within less than 7 months.

He left and pursued the woman he actually wanted.

And think about the irony.

She entered the marriage partly to avoid shame, yet the marriage eventually produced the very public shame she was trying to escape.

The truth her actions had consequences…

That stayed with me.

Because fear will make you build things God never told you to build just so you can control how people see you.

You cannot build your future on people’s opinions.

Sometimes obedience will embarrass you temporarily.

Sometimes obedience will require admitting:

“I made the wrong decision.”

Sometimes obedience will cost you a relationship.

Sometimes obedience will cost money.

Sometimes obedience will require starting over.

But temporary embarrassment is cheaper than building an entire life around something God never told you to do.

Her story teaches me something:

Sometimes we are so afraid of temporary shame that we make permanent harmful decisions to escape it.

Part 2 coming soon 👀 the story gets more interesting …

🎶 Music Time

TJ Sarx — Provider ❤️

I absolutely love the chorus: “Don’t take me away from Your presence, oh my God. I want to be here with You! I want to be more like You.”